From Warrior to Citizen: Things I learned in The Military That Helped Set Me Up For Success That Everyone Should Learn.

On By trustmeimnotadrIn humor, life, military, success1 Comment

Joining the Army was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had just turned 19, I was flunking pretty much every single one of my classes, and was getting tired of hearing my dad lecture me on how he was spending a lot of money so I can go to college  just for me blow it all partying (looking back now he was right but if you were like me, a young selfish asshole, you didn’t see it that way). After serving 6 years, a few tours, and being out in the Civilian world for almost 3 years I look back at what was the biggest challenge of my life, so far, with nothing but gratitude and a huge sense of accomplishment.

I had an NCO once tell us “The Army isn’t a career for those who want to be rich”. Perhaps he was right, you won’t make millions or swim in a vault full of gold while you’re in uniform full-time but one thing the military did give me was the tools to succeed and this to me is worth more than having all the Ferrari’s in the world (although I can’t say I would mind having a few of those in my garage…). After the military I’ve been working in the Civilian world for almost 3 years and have found that there are many differences between a civilian and a military mentality, most notably when it comes to work ethics, problem solving, and the way we approach every hurdle that is thrown our way. Is there a “right” way to succeed? Perhaps, perhaps not but I want to share what I feel were the things I learned while I was in the military that helped set me up for success:

  1. Teamwork is everything: In the military you either succeed as a team or fail as an individual. We’re trained from the very beginning to work, think, share, heck even shower as a team (dropping the soap optional). You’re assigned a partner (or Battle Buddy as we call them) and are joined  at the hip throughout trainings and deployments. This kind of mentality helps create an atmosphere where everyone works for the good of everyone and thus leads to success in every task you tackle. There’s a reason why the expression “There’s no I in team” exists.
  2. Hardship is a part of the path to success: Ask anyone who is truly successful (please, don’t go out and ask that buddy we all have that daddy sends him $10,000 a month to cover his cocaine and hooker expenses) and I can guarantee you that they will all tell you that they had to go through some very difficult times before they got to where they are now. Having gone through some pretty intense combat training and then deploying to Afghanistan for over a year taught me many things; among those things was humility, gratitude, and most importantly perseverance. I can almost guarantee you will go through some very difficult times in life but I can promise that if you hold on and keep pushing forward you’ll come out the other side stronger and more determined then you could have ever imagined.
  3. Never give up or accept defeat: In the military we are trained to never quit or give up on anything we need to accomplish (the mission). Something doesn’t become impossible until you stop trying to accomplish it. Every single person who has made their mark in history was at some point against unsummable odds and what led them to success was their unwillingness to accept defeat. You will never be a failure as long as you never stop trying.
  4. The courage to make difficult decisions and not looking back: In combat you need to make split second decisions, that could even end up getting someone killed, on the spot and pray that you or the person above you made the right call. Having gone through this I realized that the worse that could happen on my journey to success would be the loss of money and money is something that you can recover or make more of unlike someone’s life. Always remember the ancient Roman saying “Audentes Fortuna Iuvat ” (Fortune helps those daring). If you don’t have the courage to make that tough decision that you’ve been putting off out of fear of failing you’ll never know what you could have been capable of.

Part 2 Coming Soon…

Written by: Del Rivers

Music Albums, of the last 15 years, You HAVE to listen to before you Die! (PT.1)

On By trustmeimnotadrIn humor, life, musicLeave a comment

Throughout middle school, high school, and your college years you’re always in an evolutionary state. Everything from music and art all the way through science and religion will influence you in ways that are unimaginable. If you’re a music junkie like me then you know that one of the things that will always take you back in time will be the sweet or bitter melody of a song that defined a certain stage in your life. I grew up during a great time where music (or pretty much anything you can think of) was starting to become as accessible as the air we breathe through the use of the internet and P2P programs such as LimeWire and Napster (I graduated High School in 2004 so you can do the math). A time where if you had a computer with CD-R capabilities you were considered wealthy and God forbid you had a CD-RW because that’d mean you were richer then Uncle Scrooge (a stuntastic, swimming in a vault full of gold coins mo’fo who wipes his ass with a roll made of hundred dollar bills and gives less fucks then a coked up rabid Honey Badger).

Now, before you go off and start an international debate as to why my list is flawed and go into detail as to why you think Oasis or The Spice girls or whatever you still have on your 1st Gen Ipod or Zune (which is now considered one of the long lost artifacts right after the Dead Sea Scrolls) is better than anything I chose I think you should read my previous post about Life Lessons here and at the very least scroll all the way down and read point number 10. Once you’ve done this make yourself a fresh cup of coffee (vodka optional) and come back ready to accept that we are all different and as a wise man once said “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and everyone else’s stinks except yours”. So without further ado, I present part 1 of Music albums you HAVE to listen to before you die:

  1. Blink 182- Take Off Your Pants and Jacket: Blink 182 is arguably one of the most if not THE most influential band of the punk/rock/pop era that took over during the late 90’s-early 2000’s. They hit the spotlight at a time when music was too serious and successfully reinvented the industry by making satirical catchy songs about everything from teenage angst all the way to having sex with your grandfather (that’s right, there’s a song on this album about incest with grandpa and how he likes to rub his dick in broken glass). What made them so iconic was the fact that they were irreverent and didn’t take anything, including themselves, seriously. They helped create a fun era where being the class clown was celebrated, being the underdog was cool, and where even complete morons could become celebrities (if you don’t believe me just remember one word, Jackass…..enough said). Listen to this when you need a good laugh. Songs to look for: Online Songs, The Rock Show, Time to Break Up
  2. Papa Roach- Love Hate Tragedy: Although their previous album “Infest” is regarded by many as their best work I feel that they hadn’t really found their own unique sound and direction until “Love Hate Tragedy”. Their combination of going back and forth between singing and rapping mixed in with some aggressive guitar riffs helped set them apart from other rap/rock artists of their time. The thing I love the most about Papa Roach is how the singer/writer, Jacoby Shaddix, pours his own life into the lyrics and tells a story that continues to unfold with each passing album. They are the only band on this list, in my opinion, that has a great repertoire of awesome albums and is still pumping out amazing music that doesn’t sound dated or regurgitated. Listen to this if you’re in the mood to hear a story told through rock music. If you really want to go all out, start with their first album “Infest” and continue all the way through to their latest which is “F.E.A.R.”. Songs to look for: Time and Time Again, Decompression Period, She Loves Me Not
  3. The Used- In Love and Death: When emo bands became mainstream the rock community was divided; you either loved it or you absolutely hated it and wished it would die via a shotgun to the dick then burn in the fiery pits of the 8th circle of Hell along with all the rapists (because of course, you felt that they mutilated and raped music in every form imaginable). This is arguably one of the music genres that has received the most hate since its mainstream success in the early 2000’s. Was I into the emo scene? No, but I certainly didn’t hate it either and if anything good came out of it, it was a band named The Used. Although “The Used” is arguably more post-hardcore than emo, it still received a lot of hate from music “purists” who associated the band with the emo movement due to their appearances and having music that sounded somewhat emo-esque.  Nonetheless they delivered a mixture of sound and lyrics that was unlike anything else at the time. This album delivers the perfect balance between mellow and bat shit insane; if I had to take a wild guess at what someone with “Borderline Personality Disorder” has to live with on a daily basis this would be it. Listen to this when you’re in for a rollercoaster ride and don’t care about whose listening. Songs to look for: I’m Melting(In your eyes), Light With a Sharpened Edge, Sound Effects and Overdramatics

To Be Continued…

Written by: Del Rivers

Life Lessons Learned….or Not

On By trustmeimnotadrIn Food for Thought, humor, life1 Comment

It’s a known scientific fact that when you’re 18 you’re fearless, invincible and selfish. Heck some people never grow  of it. You’re like Batman minus the daddy issues and with an extreme case of arachnophobia (I’ve played enough Resident Evil to survive a  Zombie Apocalypse or an Ebola outbreak but the day those arachnid bastards start taking over I’ll commit Seppuku).  It isn’t until later in life that you realize that you’re actions do have consequences, you’re decisions do come back to haunt you, and that eating 3 Big Macs a day with 6 beers really isn’t a Healthy diet (pfft, screw you Dr. Oz, what do you know about cholesterol and diabetes?!). At the end of the day you’re left with a ton of friends pissed off at you, a beer belly, and a Burger King gut. Luckily it’s in our power to learn from our mistakes, rights some wrongs, but most importantly become a better person with each passing day. Here is a list of things I learned, and am still learning, throughout my life:

Life lesson number 1: Never change something good for something you think is great because what you think is great might turn out to be good and make you realize that what you had was already great.

Life lesson number 2: Also, in reference to the above statement, don’t cling to something you know doesn’t deserve you but also have realistic expectations. You can’t expect to land a princess if you aren’t no prince yourself, this applies both ways.

Life lesson number 3: People do have the ability to change but it doesn’t happen overnight, it takes months, I dare say even years in most cases. If someone has been the same for 20+ years, do you really think they’ll change in 2 weeks?

Life lesson number 4: Don’t mistaken remorse for change. Just because someone feels guilty about something and says they’ll never do it again, doesn’t mean they have or will change. Remember, the guilt will eventually fade…

Life lesson number 5: You can be whoever you want to be whenever you want to be. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself into what YOU want, and not what others want you to be. The worst thing you can do is lie about who you are to someone because at the end of the day you only lie to yourself. If someone can’t accept you for you then they don’t want to be with the real you, hence they don’t deserve to have the best of you.

Life lesson number 6: You will meet many people along the long winding road called your life, some good some bad, some replaceable others unforgettable. Each of these persons will contribute to your life and teach you something new, even if it’s something small, it’s still there. Time to accept this and move on.

Life lesson number 7: There will be times that you meet someone you instantly click with, where you can start a sentence and they can finish it, where you will enjoy every moment you spend together and can’t help but smile when you think of them. There will also be times where you meet someone that you don’t click with, who can’t finish your sentences, who you probably don’t enjoy the moments you spend together and most likely make  you frown when you think of them. Don’t try and force it with someone who you know will make you miserable when there are plenty who will make you smile.

Life lesson number 8: Now, just because a person can’t finish your sentences and does not have much in common with you, doesn’t mean they cannot make you smile. Sometimes the best people you will meet in your life, who will go out of their way to make you happy, have very little in common with you. It does not mean that they are less worthy than someone who does, it just means they are at a slight disadvantage from the starting line. They just could be the ones to cross the finish line though…

Life lesson number 9: Don’t jump off the deep end trying to save someone who is deliberately drowning themselves because you might just end up drowning along with them. Let’s face it, some people just want to be miserable and enjoy draining the happiness out of everyone around them like some sort of walking black hole. We all know at least one person who falls into this category, you know, that person who’s always complaining about how unhappy they are with themselves and with their life yet are reluctant to do anything at all to better themselves. The ones who are constantly getting into harmful relationships and complain that all they do is get involved with assholes but have turned down all the good people worth giving a chance to. They don’t want to help themselves and yet expect everyone around them to mend to their needs. These people are a cancer, a disease and should be avoided at all costs. At the end of the day, you can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves. It may sound selfish but sometimes you need to let someone drown so they can learn to swim.

Life lesson number 10: Don’t believe everything you hear, always come to your own conclusions. The whole reason you were born with a brain is so you can think for yourself, don’t let me or anyone else tell you what to think or believe. We all have individual life experiences, that’s what makes us different, no two are the same. This list would probably be different if you wrote it, maybe it’s time that you did…

Written by: Del Rivers

Don’t Stop Moving…

On By trustmeimnotadrIn lifeLeave a comment

I keep getting asked what it is that I want to do when I get back from my Deployment to Afghanistan and I haven’t been able to properly answer that until right now, and it’s just one simple word, “move”. We all need to grow, evolve, even if that means you need to leave everything behind. Most times all these things that you are leaving behind must be left exactly there, BEHIND, they will do nothing but remind of who you were and you need to accept that you are no longer that person. The first step to moving along is accepting the wrongs you have commited against others, especially the ones that you took for granted knowing they would do anything for you. You may start to wonder, is this the time to seek redemption? Try to right a few wrongs? But you know the answer to that to that already, it’s NO. Most times things need to be left just where they are. Accept that you are not perfect, that you have made mistakes, that you have been mean, cold, heartless even; but don’t let these imperfections bring you down. Use them, let them fuel your will to never commit these mistakes again, consider them scars that you will wear proudly in homage to yourself, to your ability to accept the things that once were but no longer are….

Written by: Del Rivers