Category: military

From Warrior to Citizen: Why leaving the Military (ETS) Has Been One of the Most Difficult Decisions of My Life

On By trustmeimnotadrIn Food for Thought, life, military, peace, Random ThoughtsLeave a comment

Leaving the military has been by far the most difficult decision I have ever made and I never really sat down to try and understood the real reason why it was so difficult until now.

For those of you who may or may not know, back in 2006, I had just turned 19 when I joined because I was flunking pretty much every single one of my college classes. The military became a “scapegoat” of sorts so I wouldn’t have to deal with the cruel, harsh realities of the real word such as studying (yuck) or growing up (booo!).

What I never thought was that after 11 years of service, and finally deciding it was time to move on, that it would be the most painfully difficult decision of my life.

I have been extremely vocal throughout my military career about the “best”and “worst”parts of my career choice, however I never really considered why it was so painful for me, as an individual. So much so that I wrote about some valuable lessons I learned during my military career which you can read about here.

My mother passed away of complications due to cervical cancer on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007. The last time I saw her I was in my Class-A’s (at the time we wore the Army Green’s) after graduating from Basic Training, the approximate date would be right around mid March 2007. This would be the last time I would ever see my mother before she passed away.

I had already made peace with every other part of leaving the military but the real reason it hurt so much was because it was the last thing I had left in my life that reminded me of my youth, most importantly, the last moments of a life that included my mother. The last embrace, hug, kiss, comforting words that I ever gave to her were whilst wearing my Army Green’s and that to me is something that I took so seriously for so many years.

Deciding to finally take off my Army uniform for good means having the courage of letting go of these beautifully painful memories and it was something that I was not ready to do for so long. Perhaps this is the most difficult decision I have ever made because of my fear of letting go and forgetting everything she has ever meant to me.

I promise you this, Sandra I. Lopez Castro (my mothers full name), I will never forget what you meant to me or my siblings. You were the light that filled my life with inspiration, you were the voice that whispered into my ear when I was about to give up over a million times and convinced me that I was way more than I ever imagined.

I will never forget your ever lasting love and I promise you, that I do not need a uniform to remind me of you and the grace you have placed upon me and all of my brothers and sisters. I love you more than you will ever know and that’s what hurts the most…

Written by: Del Rivers

From Warrior to Citizen: Things I learned in The Military That Helped Set Me Up For Success That Everyone Should Learn.

On By trustmeimnotadrIn humor, life, military, success1 Comment

Joining the Army was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had just turned 19, I was flunking pretty much every single one of my classes, and was getting tired of hearing my dad lecture me on how he was spending a lot of money so I can go to college  just for me blow it all partying (looking back now he was right but if you were like me, a young selfish asshole, you didn’t see it that way). After serving 6 years, a few tours, and being out in the Civilian world for almost 3 years I look back at what was the biggest challenge of my life, so far, with nothing but gratitude and a huge sense of accomplishment.

I had an NCO once tell us “The Army isn’t a career for those who want to be rich”. Perhaps he was right, you won’t make millions or swim in a vault full of gold while you’re in uniform full-time but one thing the military did give me was the tools to succeed and this to me is worth more than having all the Ferrari’s in the world (although I can’t say I would mind having a few of those in my garage…). After the military I’ve been working in the Civilian world for almost 3 years and have found that there are many differences between a civilian and a military mentality, most notably when it comes to work ethics, problem solving, and the way we approach every hurdle that is thrown our way. Is there a “right” way to succeed? Perhaps, perhaps not but I want to share what I feel were the things I learned while I was in the military that helped set me up for success:

  1. Teamwork is everything: In the military you either succeed as a team or fail as an individual. We’re trained from the very beginning to work, think, share, heck even shower as a team (dropping the soap optional). You’re assigned a partner (or Battle Buddy as we call them) and are joined  at the hip throughout trainings and deployments. This kind of mentality helps create an atmosphere where everyone works for the good of everyone and thus leads to success in every task you tackle. There’s a reason why the expression “There’s no I in team” exists.
  2. Hardship is a part of the path to success: Ask anyone who is truly successful (please, don’t go out and ask that buddy we all have that daddy sends him $10,000 a month to cover his cocaine and hooker expenses) and I can guarantee you that they will all tell you that they had to go through some very difficult times before they got to where they are now. Having gone through some pretty intense combat training and then deploying to Afghanistan for over a year taught me many things; among those things was humility, gratitude, and most importantly perseverance. I can almost guarantee you will go through some very difficult times in life but I can promise that if you hold on and keep pushing forward you’ll come out the other side stronger and more determined then you could have ever imagined.
  3. Never give up or accept defeat: In the military we are trained to never quit or give up on anything we need to accomplish (the mission). Something doesn’t become impossible until you stop trying to accomplish it. Every single person who has made their mark in history was at some point against unsummable odds and what led them to success was their unwillingness to accept defeat. You will never be a failure as long as you never stop trying.
  4. The courage to make difficult decisions and not looking back: In combat you need to make split second decisions, that could even end up getting someone killed, on the spot and pray that you or the person above you made the right call. Having gone through this I realized that the worse that could happen on my journey to success would be the loss of money and money is something that you can recover or make more of unlike someone’s life. Always remember the ancient Roman saying “Audentes Fortuna Iuvat ” (Fortune helps those daring). If you don’t have the courage to make that tough decision that you’ve been putting off out of fear of failing you’ll never know what you could have been capable of.

Part 2 Coming Soon…

Written by: Del Rivers