HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. -William Butler Yeats
“It’s not that we have to quit this life one day, it’s how many things we have to quit all at once: holding hands, hotel rooms, music, the physics of falling leaves, vanilla and jasmine, poppies, smiling, anthills, the color of the sky, coffee and cashmere, literature, sparks and subway trains… If only one could leave this life slowly!”
-Roman Payne, Hope and Despair
“I’ll find you again”, “How will I know it’s you?”, “The way someone looks at you, the way the wind blows in a cool summer day, a laugh you hear somewhere, you’ll remember a feeling…and that will be me…”
“What is happiness to you?”, a question that resonates continuously through this beautiful love story told through the mind of David Aames (Tom Cruise), the young and attractive millionaire who has everything in life going for him. The film is told in retrospect with David being in prison for the murder of someone who has not yet been disclosed. Back in the past, the love story begins when at a party he hosts, he meets Sofia (Penelope Cruz) who he immediately becomes infatuated with and the 2 share a great night together just enjoying each others company. The following morning, his scorned sex partner, Julie (Cameron Diaz) lures him into her car and attempts to commit a lovers suicide by driving off a bridge resulting in her death and his horrible disfigurement.
Upon his recovery he is having trouble readjusting to his new looks, in particular his scarred face, and decides to wallow in self pity. One day he decides to look for Sofia at her workplace and asks her to let him take her out, she agrees. That night, they meet at a nearby nightclub where they have a terrible time mostly due to David’s drunkenness and pitiful behavior. When the night is over she walks to her apartment and he passes out on the sidewalk only to be awaken the following morning by Sofia who tells him that she is willing to give him a chance and admits that although she loved his previous looks she mostly does not want to forget who he was on the inside. Shortly after the two begin dating a plastic surgeon contacts him and tells him of a revolutionary procedure that can fix his face to which David agrees to have done. He successfully recovers from his surgery and continues his relationship with Sofia. The two share one of the most beautiful and intense relationships Hollywood has ever graced us with until one day David begins to see Sofia as Julie. In a fit of anger and convinced that Julie was dead and that she was not Sofia he kills her by smothering her with a pillow only to find that it was indeed Sofia who he had killed and this is what had landed him in prison.
After a series of events it is revealed to him that in reality he is in a cryogenic frozen state and what was supposed to be a lucid dream turned into a nightmare due to a glitch. In other words, everything that happened after the nightclub outing was not reality but a dream created by elements of his subconscious. The most vivid part of his dream was his intense relationship with Sofia, a woman whom he had only met once in reality but was the only person to ever make him feel that love did indeed exist.
The film is a very close adaptation of Alejandro Amenabar’s “Abre los Ojos” and also stars Penelope Cruz as it’s predecessor did. What makes the story feel so beautiful yet heart breaking at the same time is the way the film captivates you emotionally, dragging you into their near perfect relationship and then tears you apart when you find out that it never happened. That this love story was not real.
The movie touches on many themes and there’s a slew of interpretations out there but to me it signifies something much more basic, our own lives; paths taken and not taken, impending crossroads with decisions that will mend our lives in ways that you cannot imagine and our subconscious showing us our deepest desires and the way things could have been through our dreams and imagination.
We can sit here and debate what’s real and what isn’t for the rest of our lives because reality is a relative concept. If something so beautiful and powerful as a kiss, a hug, a whisper, the sweet scent of that special someone’s perfume feels realer than the air you breathe, who am I to take that from you? As one of my favorite quotes from the movie says, “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around”. Vanilla Sky tells one of the most beautiful love stories of all time that never happened.
Written by: Del Rivers
Another day has gone by; another story to be told has been written. As I sit drinking my coffee at the nearby café, I can’t help but look at everyone around me and think how we all have our own stories, our own memories, our own problems, our own daily dilemmas and issues. To think that I got it easy compared to other people makes me feel somewhat blessed but it also leads me to think about how things happen and how we are all linked in some way or another.
The guy that is sitting in the table next to me at this very moment, scrolling aimlessly through his laptop, quite possibly might have ten times more problems than I do and to be honest I might never know. Although it does get me to think; could someone that knows him, know someone that knows me and could said person be what causes him some of his problems? Crazy to think how it really is a small world. With all of its vast oceans and continents we still can’t escape the lingering fact that we are all connected in some way. I remember a song by a band I loved in my college years that said “Seeing all those people on the ground, wasting their time.” Looking back now I find that song very interesting because a lot of people are literally wasting away their lives and weathering away in the tunnels of time. Funny how there are billions of people on this planet and we don’t even know 1/1,000,000th of them all and even funnier is that we may all be somehow connected. Perhaps it’s time I get up and introduce myself…
Written by: Del Rivers
The sun goes to sleep for the night
Another day is almost over
Do you think that what you did today was right?
Or would you like to do it all over?
Such peace is seen at a sunset
For all of my worries go away
All the things that were left unsaid
Are all remnants of what we called today
Written by: Del Rivers
As some of you may already know, just a few weeks ago (August 29th, 2015) marked the 10 year anniversary of the disastrous Hurricane Katrina that caused massive damage to the coastal city of New Orleans, Louisiana here in the United States. Hundreds of people, including celebrities, came together to share stories and anecdotes of their life experiences both before and after the powerful storm transformed the city forever. One of the stories that really drew my attention was that of ex pro-football player Michael “Steve” Gleason.
Gleason was a professional football player for the New Orleans Saints who at the age of 34 was diagnosed with a super rare disease referred to as ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. In a nutshell ALS is a degenerative illness which slowly causes you to lose voluntary movement. From the ability to walk and talk and speak all the way thru to your ability to eat and breathe. He came to the peak of his career n 2006, just a bit over a year after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, and gave the devastated and demoralized city hope by blocking a punt from the opposing team. This in turn lead to the first score in the Saints first game in New Orleans in nearly 21 months due to hurricane Katrina having devastated both the city and the morale of the team. Unfortunately his heightened career ended when he was diagnosed with ALS in 2011; right around the same time him and his wife were trying have a child. Despite his everyday battle with ALS and being confined to a wheelchair, Gleason’s spirits are high and his optimism and passion for life have all but been lost in the midst of his struggle with a widely misunderstood disease.
Imagine wrapping your arms around your significant other and feeling the warmth of there skin tightly pressed against yours, imagine walking down the beach and feeling the cool wet sand beneath your feet, imagine driving down the highway with the windows down and the warm summer wind caressing your face, imagine eating your favorite slice of chocolate cake and savoring it within every corner of your mouth. Now imagine what it would be like if no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t wrap your arms around the one you love, imagine not being able to walk down the beach because your legs won’t move, imagine not being able to place your hands on a steering wheel because your arms refuse to respond, imagine not being able to enjoy your favorite chocolate cake because you cannot chew. Imagine that one day, everything you normally do, everything you take for granted, all become things that you will never be able to do again.
If you haven’t been grateful for anything in a long time I implore you to walk outside and while you take a breath of air and feel the warmth of the early morning sun on your face you can at least be grateful for the fact that you were able to step out that door on your own two legs and live to see another day. As Carlos Mencia once said, “What makes life beautiful is the essence of the fact that it can go away”.
Written by: Del Rivers
Wow, it feels like forever since I sat down to write anything (I’ve got over a dozen drafts on here but haven’t sat down to finish any of them, shame on me!). I’ve been going over my favorite shows since I’ve missed a few episodes here and there and one in specific popped out at me, Californication. If you haven’t seen it then you are missing out on a truly unique experience.
The show is about a man named Hank Moody, played by David Duchovny, a quasi-successful writer with a bad case of writers block who looses himself in the world of fame, sex-addiction, alcohol, and the occasional drug abuse. Basically it’s David Duchovny playing…… David Duchovny! What makes the show very appealing is how the super charming protagonist (Hank) truly has good intentions at heart but always finds a way to mess everything up. One of the most memorable moments in the show is at the end of Season 3 when something (no spoilers!) huge happens and there’s nothing but “Elton Johns Rocket Man” playing with barely any dialogue; just a beautiful yet tragic season finale (you can check out the song Here! ) If you’re looking for a show on Netflix, I encourage you to pick this one up, you will not be disappointed.
Written by: Del Rivers
After a long week at work and my brain having to soak in about 25678799898 TB of information I needed a moment to recollect my thoughts. So what did I do? I pulled out my trusty rusty Ipad 2 (yes I’m a heathen, that’s right, I still own an Ipad 2) and instead of doing what I normally do, which is put on Pandora, I started browsing around to see what I already had (which had been on it for years untouched) and found a playlist I created during college named “relax”. A playlist full of orchestra, piano, and jazz trumpet music to help unwind after a long day. I’m glad to have discovered it once again after about 6 years of it just sitting there because it was exactly what I needed!
If you haven’t heard “Clair de Lune” by Debussy you truly are missing out on one of the best songs of all time. The French really have a way of pouring their soul out onto every form of art they touch and every page they write. From composers such as Debussy all the way through to the literary works of Alexandre Dumas, every single word or note written is more beautiful then the last. If you haven’t heard this song go ahead and pour yourself a glass of wine and click Here .
Written by: Del Rivers
Joining the Army was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had just turned 19, I was flunking pretty much every single one of my classes, and was getting tired of hearing my dad lecture me on how he was spending a lot of money so I can go to college just for me blow it all partying (looking back now he was right but if you were like me, a young selfish asshole, you didn’t see it that way). After serving 6 years, a few tours, and being out in the Civilian world for almost 3 years I look back at what was the biggest challenge of my life, so far, with nothing but gratitude and a huge sense of accomplishment.
I had an NCO once tell us “The Army isn’t a career for those who want to be rich”. Perhaps he was right, you won’t make millions or swim in a vault full of gold while you’re in uniform full-time but one thing the military did give me was the tools to succeed and this to me is worth more than having all the Ferrari’s in the world (although I can’t say I would mind having a few of those in my garage…). After the military I’ve been working in the Civilian world for almost 3 years and have found that there are many differences between a civilian and a military mentality, most notably when it comes to work ethics, problem solving, and the way we approach every hurdle that is thrown our way. Is there a “right” way to succeed? Perhaps, perhaps not but I want to share what I feel were the things I learned while I was in the military that helped set me up for success:
Part 2 Coming Soon…
Written by: Del Rivers
Throughout middle school, high school, and your college years you’re always in an evolutionary state. Everything from music and art all the way through science and religion will influence you in ways that are unimaginable. If you’re a music junkie like me then you know that one of the things that will always take you back in time will be the sweet or bitter melody of a song that defined a certain stage in your life. I grew up during a great time where music (or pretty much anything you can think of) was starting to become as accessible as the air we breathe through the use of the internet and P2P programs such as LimeWire and Napster (I graduated High School in 2004 so you can do the math). A time where if you had a computer with CD-R capabilities you were considered wealthy and God forbid you had a CD-RW because that’d mean you were richer then Uncle Scrooge (a stuntastic, swimming in a vault full of gold coins mo’fo who wipes his ass with a roll made of hundred dollar bills and gives less fucks then a coked up rabid Honey Badger).
Now, before you go off and start an international debate as to why my list is flawed and go into detail as to why you think Oasis or The Spice girls or whatever you still have on your 1st Gen Ipod or Zune (which is now considered one of the long lost artifacts right after the Dead Sea Scrolls) is better than anything I chose I think you should read my previous post about Life Lessons here and at the very least scroll all the way down and read point number 10. Once you’ve done this make yourself a fresh cup of coffee (vodka optional) and come back ready to accept that we are all different and as a wise man once said “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and everyone else’s stinks except yours”. So without further ado, I present part 1 of Music albums you HAVE to listen to before you die:
To Be Continued…
Written by: Del Rivers
Trust Me, I'm Not a Doctor 